


No Particular Place to Go.

by TheBoredWriter



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-01 22:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13304580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBoredWriter/pseuds/TheBoredWriter
Summary: Loki, the God of Mischief, and Clint Barton are on a road trip across the country.Hilarity ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

"What is this?"

"Music."

"/This/ is not music. I know what music is, and this is not it."

"It's country. Haven't you ever heard country music before?" 

"Absolutely not, and I didn't know how fortunate I was until this very moment. If I could go back in time just so that I could avoid this particular life-event even if it meant that some terrible calamity would occur somewhere on the other side of the world, I would not hesitate." 

"Okay... Extreme, kinda. Come on, country is great!" Clint turned up the music. "You gotta listen to the words. Feel them. There's real stuff in there." 

The twang of a guitar and clash of percussion filled the car like the warm summer air breezing through the open old pickup windows. In the passenger-side seat, Loki, son of Odin, prince of Asgard, the god of mischief, the liesmith, the silvertongue, sat in worn jeans and a t-shirt portraying a wolf holwing at the moon. Plastic sunglasses cover his face and his long, black hair was tied back in a ponytail to keep it out of his face, preferring the sun-kissed breeze over the air-conditioning (which didn't work very well anyway). 

-"'Cold beer in your hand  
Breaking hearts, breaking necks'"-

"Alright, I like that bit about breaking necks."

"Mhm~."

-"'When we rolling down the street, heads turning all day when they see you with me.  
I'm thinking everybody better stand in line  
'Cause they need to know that your body's coming with me tonight.'"-

"I suppose the words aren't so... awful." Loki glanced with a side-eye over at Clint in a way that the archer wouldn't see, especially as how Barton had his eyes on the road. 

"See? What did I tell--."

-"'They're like, "hey, who that there with the shades?"  
Like oh, the way you move to the bass  
Hold up  
Whole room gets to spinnin' from the second that you walk in  
And baby you look good all day, all night  
You look good, so fresh, so fine  
You look good, got everybody watching you like cameras in Hollywood  
Baby you look good  
Aw baby you look good.'"-

Ah, now Loki made a face. "I take it all back."

"What? No, wait, come on. That's just the chorus--."

"No." Loki reached for the dial. "There's something better than this. There must be." 

"Hey!" Clint batted Loki's hand away. "I'm the driver, I choose the music. That's the rules."

"Rules?"

"Yeah. Rules. Rules of the road~." Clint's voice hummed on the last word as if he quite liked saying it. 

"Barton. Dear, dear Barton... Let me tell you something."

"Mhm. Go on." 

"I don't know if you know this...."

"Yeah?"

"But...."

"Uh-huh." 

"I never play by the rules." Loki changed the radio station. 

Clint changed it back, again batting Loki's hand away. "Stop it." 

Loki changed it again. "No~."

"Knock it off." And back again.

"Never." The sophisticated melody of a Bach quartet filled the air. 

"No, no, no. This stuff is boring. It's good, I get it, but boring. Bad for driving. Change it back." The road was straight and flat, so Clint didn't have to focus much on it. 

"I don't think so. This is ~lovely. I won't have my ears suffer any longer to your... country." 

Clint paused, seemed to consider something, then pulled his hand back, settling it lazily on the steering wheel once more. "Alright." 

Loki narrowed his eyes. "Alright...?"

"Yeah. It's fine."

Loki hesitated, an eyebrow lifting as he sat back in his seat, looking for some sort of comeback but finding none. "Alright." Loki turned his gaze out the window, and doesn't notice Clint's smirk. 

It was noon, the sun high in the sky over this lonely road in South Dakota. Their trip was only just beginning.


	2. The One About Piss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! Muse and all that. But here are a couple of chapters that I hope entertain somewhat. This fic is not about bigger-picture things. At least it won't be for a long while, as far as I know. Maybe after Infinity Wars comes out, there will be a more focused direction, but I kinda wanna keep it loose and free. 
> 
> Enjoy!

"Pull over."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Just pull over, Barton."

"I'm not just going to pull over whenever you tell me so. Come on. Communication. You were better with this when you were in my head."

Dark humor from Barton. Unusual.

Loki sighed. "I have to urinate."

Barton's lips twitched up. "Can't it wait? Only twenty or so more miles until a gas-station."

Loki fell quiet. He shifted this way and that in his seat for the next five minutes, legs subtly squirming.

"How much further?"

"Really? Fifteen miles maybe."

"Just pull over."

"Hold it. Or piss in one of those empty water-bottles."

"I'm _not_  going to piss in a bottle. Who does that?"

"I've done it. It's really convenient. You should give it a try."

"It's disgusting. Just pull over already. We're not on some time limit."

"For all you know."

"Well, maybe if you just told me. _Now_ who's bad at communication."

"Shut it. You can wait."

"Wh--. Barton, I swear that if you do not pull over in the next moment of two, I will take the liberty of dousing the inside of this entire vehicle."

"That's a lie. You'd suffer as much as I would."

"Maybe so, but it would be worth it."

"...You're bluffing."

Loki cocked an eyebrow and shifted in his seat, hands going to his jeans zipper.  
Barton drove on still, though his gaze swept over to Loki and narrowed.  
The zipper went down.  
Barton drove on, his fingers dancing on the wheel.  
Loki reached inside his pants--.

"Christ. Fine!" The truck swerved to the side of the road, bits of dirt and sand kicking up as pavement turned to dry ground.

Loki smiled triumphantly and hopped out as soon as the vehicle was stopped. "There. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Shut up and take a leak."

And so it came to pass that Loki won a great battle that day. Surely, like the Norse stories of old -- those great legends and myths -- this too would become cemented in history: The fateful day that Loki, god of mischief, took a piss on the side of the road in the Middle of Nowhere, USA.


	3. A Bad Omen? Or Just a Bad Tire.

POP

The truck swerved.

"Shit."

Thudthudthudthudthudthudthudthud.

"What's that?" Loki sounded annoyed and slightly concerned (odd). The guy must have been sleeping.

Clint pulled the truck over to the side of the empty road. It was hot and dry, the sun glaring down from a otherwise barren sky. "Flat tire. Stay in here."

Barton hopped out of the car and stretched. Good day to be wearing a tank-top. He probably could have worn shorts, too, but Clint would be the first to tell you that he never wears shorts. Never. Jeans were always the way to go when wearing civvies.

The truck itself was nothing to look at, but hiding under its plain exterior was something a little more formidable. A vehicle that would get them out of most sticky-situations.

How exactly a tire blew is beyond Clint. He sighed and rubbed fingers under his sunglasses before heading to the back of the truck to get the spare.

"Is this going to take long?" While Loki's cultured voice could never quite sound like he was whining, the tone of imperial annoyance was close enough.

"Twenty mintues."

"It's far too hot for this." Loki pulled his head back inside the cab of the truck, no doubt hiding in what coolness the shade could provide. He wasn't good with heat, a point he'd made several times so far during their trip.

Oh, right. Air conditioning. That was broken too. Guess he forgot to fix that. Then again, this all came about rather suddenly--.

"There are vultures overhead. They think you look like a tasty snack, Barton."

"Yeah, well. They can try." He jacked the truck up and got to work.

"A bird for a bird." Loki's voice is somewhat muffled as it comes from within the truck.

"I've got a bird for you." This is mostly said under Clint's breath.

"I heard that and I know what it means, you cheeky hawk." Loki nearly sounded amused.

"Yeah, well, it's better than what I used to have for you."

"Oh, and what's that?"

"An arrow."

Loki was silent after that, and it gave Clint time to focus on changing the tire. Those vultures looked too hungry.

As Clint was putting the ruined tire in the back along with the jack, Loki spoke up again. "You have an arrow for everyone." His voice sounded softer, more contempletive.

Clint wiped a hint of sweat from his brow before getting back into the driver's seat. "Yeah." He started the car, glancing over at Loki. Loki's gaze was now out the window, but Clint's sharp eyes had seen it shift from him the split second before he'd looked over.

"You need to fix the cooling system in here. It's sweltering."

Barton got them headed down the road once more, warm air breezing through the windows once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I may switch over to present tense after this chapter? It's more comfortable for me to write in, but we'll see. 
> 
> Very subtle things happening. Little bits of development, but I'm not trying to move things along quickly. This fic is hopefully more something to snack on rather than to make a meal of. Except for maybe years down the line when it's finally got some heft to it. Who knows.

**Author's Note:**

> Possible one-shot. I hope to write more episodic chapters that are loosely connected to each other, /possibly/ leading up to a greater plot. It's all dependent on my motivation and creativity and feedback. I just liked this idea, and I like these two characters. Let me know what you think of it. Thanks, pals.
> 
> Song quoted is Lady Antebellum's "You Look Good".


End file.
